It’s true that marriage is the most intimate human bond on earth. Two people come together and form one — a fascinating amazing arrangement. In courtship and dating, couples are totally absorbed in their relationship, with no room for nitpicking. It is easy to offer forgiveness and mistakes are let slip by. Then is the day that matters, and they officially become one.
While the couple is slogging through their relationship and their differences are brought to the forefront. The weights drop off their eyes and they start to notice the obvious flaws in their spouse. Most of the time the differences that brought them together turn into frustrations. There’s a saying that says love is blind, however, marriage can be the opening of the eyes. If we’re sincere, it is truth. If spouses don’t take their time and get caught up in an endless rabbit hole of blame-making judgments and criticizing each other.
The dictionary defines judgment as the expression of the negative view of the behavior of someone because you believe you’re better than them. That is that when you judge your partner, you are telling them that they’re not worthy of your respect. They are also being told that it’s not acceptable to be who they are and there’s nothing more offensive. Everyone doesn’t want to feel rejected by those who claim that they are their love.
Below are 5 reasons you must not judge your spouse.
1. They Deserve Proper Communication–Not Judgment:
“Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.” The ideal solution to miscommunications during the marriage is effective communication and not judging. If your spouse has forgotten the date of your wedding doesn’t mean that they don’t care or cherish you. If you show compassion and listen to their thoughts and ask questions, you might discover some facts. Perhaps they’ve had a difficult working week. Perhaps you threatened to give them dismissal which caused them to lose their confidence.
If you try to talk with your spouse instead of criticizing them, you’ll most likely find that they are thinking well. It will be clear that you weren’t married to an awful person in the end. Effective communication is about respect in the face of disagreements, not getting defensive, not simply sweeping the issue under the carpet, and instead, fighting in a fair manner by showing compassion and paying attention.
2. You are One with Your Partner:
“And He asked them “Have you read about it? God who created them from the beginning, made them female and male “and said, for this reason, that a man will be separated from his father and mother and join the woman he loves so that they will become one flesh”? Therefore, they are not two anymore, and one in flesh. Thus, the things that God has united Let man not separate.”
Unfortunately, many couples don’t seem to understand the importance that the above verse carries. As time passes and the years pass by, it’s not surprising to find every spouse carving out their own life. If your marriage relationship is deteriorating Some spouses are just roommates. When God examines your marriage, He would like to see one thing, not two. That’s the reason why in creation God created the woman from a man with the help of the rib of one. She was in the man’s body before she was born.
As a couple, we’re instructed to recreate the same bond. It’s true that this isn’t difficult to achieve, particularly due to our fall. However, that’s why Jesus sacrificed his life on the cross to remove us from the curse of sin. God desires that spouses seek unity physically, spiritually as well as emotionally. Paul encouraged husbands to treat their wives like their own bodies since nobody can be hateful of their own bodies. Instead, they nourish it and take care of it. This highlights the fact that they are both two in one.
In this way, every spouse must realize that when they judge their husband or wife, they may inadvertently make judgments on themselves. If you are a person of love then you are not judging your spouse.
3. You Are Inviting Them to Judge You:
“Judge not, and you will not get judged. Based on the judgment you use your judgment will be discovered and depending on the scale you select the measure will be compared against you.”
I had a boss who would blow her gasket when we arrived at the office after only a few minutes. She was not tolerant of human mistakes. As a result, when she ran late, my colleagues would get up and look confused. In judging us, she flung the door open, inviting us to evaluate her.
In the same way, when we criticize our spouses, we are urging them to give a more thorough look at our lives and evaluate us, too. Jesus said that whatever we want our fellow men to do, we must do the same to them. If you don’t like a partner who always scrutinizes your daily life using a fine tooth comb you should take away the auditing tools you use. The natural law is that we plant and reap. If we are able to sow forgiveness and mercy then we will reap exactly the same.
4. Self-Righteousness is as Filthy Rags:
“But we all are unclean things, and our righteousnesses are as filthy cloths. We all fade like leaves, and our sins as if they were the winds. “We have all committed sin and have fallen far from the glory of God. We are all sinners. When we criticize our spouses, it is a way of elevating ourselves above them, implying that we are superior and more moral than them. But God would prefer us to look up to others more than ourselves. we observe two people: the Pharisee as well as the tax collector preparing to pray. The Pharisee begins by hooting his horn, saying that he was different from men who were extortioners unjust, adulterers, as well as tax collection collectors. What’s more? He fasted two times every week and paid the tithe of his belongings. The tax collector however was angry and begged for mercy from God. In the final, this was the tax collector who returned home with a sense of justice.
It is not pleasing to God when we make judgments about his children. God did not send His Son to judge the world but in order to rescue us. We are able to be a good example to our spouses however, we are not to judge them. At the end of the day, we all will appear before the judgment bench of Christ and present our accounts of the events of our lives before God. In between, let us tear to dust the “judgment seats” we have constructed during our weddings. Keep in mind, that God is a just judge, and we are not.
5. There is a More Excellent Way–Love
“But do your best to seek out the most wonderful gifts. Yet, I will offer you a superior way.”Paul does not minimize the many gifts that are part of Christ’s body: apostles prophets, teachers, magicians as well as those with gifts for healing. These gifts are all wonderful and valuable. However, Jesus calls the Corinthian church to seek the manner of love. Remember your wedding vows? You promised to love your spouse during the different times of your life. You signed up to love your spouse in a most wonderful way. Here’s a glimpse of how loving your spouse should appear like:
“Love endures for a long time and is compassionate Love doesn’t have envy, love doesn’t display itself, it is not overly exaggerated; it does not be rude, does not look for its own, isn’t in a state of mind that is agitated, does not think of evil and does not delight in injustice, but is awed by the truth. Love endures all things, believes in all things believes in everything, and is able to endure everything. Love is never failing. However, if there are prophecies that fail, they will not succeed; if there are the tongues of the dead, they’ll stop when there is no wisdom, then it’ll disappear in the distance.”
If you cherish your spouse this way then you won’t criticize them. You’ll be able to trust their intentions and not judge them for their actions. Your affection for them will never falter.
